My one inherited trait is, sadly, the ability to eviscerate people with my words…
Here was my response to the cat lady…
“Hi,
I am sorry that you felt so burdened/rushed by my simple request of notification as to when you had finished processing my application. It was obviously my mistake for being so diligent.
Yes, my cat did pass away and thank you for being so sensitive to that possibility by asking about it without even using full sentences. I took her in knowing that she had leukemia and I was the one who was there at the end. Not exactly an easy thing. Sadly, not even an act such as that qualifies me for one of your kittens.
I sincerely hope that you are able to place Julia as it will be heartening to know that there are, in fact, people who do walk on water on this Earth, although I am sure you would even make them go through a “trial period”.
I will now be taking my search for a companion elsewhere.”
You have got to be out of your fucking mind. That’s it. I am only visiting shelters where I can take home a cat that damn day and they don’t send the fucking Gestapo over to “inspect”.
Here is an email I sent today with a cat application:
“Hello,
I have attached a cat application to this email. I am interested in one of your kittes, Julia. Please let me know when you have been able to review my application and when I might be able to arrange a visit.
Thanks so much,
Jamie Buck”
And this is what I got in response….
“i cant rush into anything i need to check the application out among all else I do and work full time, so things take awhile for us.
You answered the question about having another cat YES / NO
I am assuming the cat passed away the feline leuk. cat.??
You wouldnt be visiting us, when a possible right matched home is found, we do home visits, and then later a trial period before any formal adoption.
Julia LOVES other cats and is very active and needs a home with another cat that likes cats too. If you want only a KITTEN, (unfortunately) then I can give you the name and numbers of 2 other rescue people I know who have wonderful KITTENS for adoption.
Thank you.”
I have entered a world populated entirely by cat ladies. Who do these people think they are? What EXACTLY do they think this cat is not going to get in my home? And why the fuck would you be involved in such a project if it is such a burdern on your apparently “hectic” schedule? Give me a fucking break. I am sorry you had to work an extra shift at Blimpies, but I really don’t fucking care.You have got to be out of your fucking mind. That’s it. I am only visiting shelters where I can take home a cat that damn day and they don’t send the fucking gestapo over to “inspect”.
An imaginary conversation with a co-worker.
Contributors: JBot and Brenda
Doofus Intern: “Oh no, did I forget to order your sandwiches? I guess I shouldn’t order them anymore.”
JBot or Brenda: “No, you see how this works is that you will now order them EVERY day and if you screw it up again, we will shove something up your ass. Every time you screw it up after that, we will shove something larger and more abrasive up there and you will have no one to blame but yourself.”
People who call in when they have the day off
I don’t know, is it that hard to grasp that you simply are NOT that important and people CAN go on working without you?
Also on the list is the reverse– Bosses and coworkers who call you when you have the day off
Is it really that hard to grasp that work is not the center of the universe and calling about oh say, where some office item is, probably isn’t necessary.
So, I redesigned my company’s web site. I won’t even give you the URL because it has since been “tinkered” with by our president who just can’t help himself. So, what has since transpired is that a perfectly good web site has been turned to shit. At first, I was a bit offended, then infuriated, then disheartened, and now, well, something new…
Here is an excerpt of an email sent to Sora:
“So…. this is what I love about today. [President] just asked me for some basic photoshop lessons. He’s just going to “swizzle” something up for the logo because he can. Of course, swizzle. Yes, he is a graphic designer. Of course. He owns photoshop. At this point, I am very nearly encouraging him with some form of morbid glee. Go ahead, tinker. I want to see exactly how much shit you can pile onto my design and still not hear words of protest. I want to see how everybody here will still try to subtly steer you in some other direction, but no, you’ll keep forging ahead to 1997. I laugh at the people trying to stop it too–the futility they cannot admit. It’s an almost psychotic glee. It’s very freeing. It’s like a few years ago when we had all those hurricanes in a row hitting Florida. A small part of me wanted one more, just to see if it could happen, just because they said it couldn’t. Bam, here it comes…”
Gosh, it must be so hard to be this guy… especially since his face never strays far from the “I’m legitimate-My hair is white, therefore I must know SOMETHING-Someone else’s grandmother JUST died but what about MY feelings?” expression. What a douche.
