JBot Mania

I’ll admit my first excuse is, I’ve been busy. Busy or maybe “lazy”, if you will. The real culprit is… my fucking camera. Well, cameras. I have a pretty nice Pentax ist D. For all the money I paid for it, I don’t use it nearly enough - a running theme in my life. My biggest impediment - ridiculouly shitty battery life. Can’t tell if it is the batteries or the camera. Read the rest of this entry »

Every now and again I run into a passage in a book or an article that says something just so. I have had two in my life that have stuck with me. Strangely, both deal with death and those left behind. One was from the Smith College quarterly, that I will have to find and quote, and then the other day while listening to Story Corps on NPR, I heard the second.

A woman was describing what it was like to live on after her child of 10 had been killed by a reckless motorist. Here is an excerpt:

And the worst part is when you realize you’re going to live, because you just want to die. I thought I wouldn’t live 10 minutes and I was astonished when I’d lived 10 days and mortified when I’d lived 10 months, and not even grateful yet when I had lived 10 years. I was just mostly surprised.

What I find so compelling is her use of the word “mortified” because it’s not what you would expect and yet, it’s quite possibly the perfect descriptor. It plays over and over in my mind and each time it touches something where I somehow understand. I hope I never understand, but just this little makes me know that I could.