Upon opening my current birth control method, I actually read the directions on the package:

Per vagina, eh? I have multiple vaginas then? Like ears? Can I alternate between the two? What’s the other one like? It must be mint since I didn’t even know I had it and thus, have never used it.

Also, the suggestion that I store it in a cool, dry place seems to be a bit antithetical to the intended usage. If it’s cool and dry, then we need to talk.

I am also glad that they suggest that I ONLY use it in my vagina since I WAS considering putting some sugar crystals on it and calling it a ThingPop™.

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