So, myself and my friend Brenda here were discussing my recent assertion when asked by my mechanic friend if I want to have children some day. I responded “Sure, but chances are I’ll end up doing it myself”.

Scientifically speaking, it’s pretty slim pickins, as far as men go, on the East coast.

Brenda and I started thinking about the pros and cons of the situation and ended up on the pro side. We’d work together on the logistics of raising the kids, like carpooling, babysitting, etc. The biggest pro for Brenda - no undermining of her authority. The biggest pro for me - the same as Brenda, as well as, no wasted time trying to find “The One”.

After some discussions about the scientific principles of babymaking, we came to the conclusion that we would need the following items:

  • some carefully selected “samples” of Y chromosomes
  • a Martini shaker
  • a turkey baster
  • a glass of some expensive wine
  • some Barry White tunes
  • a candle or two for setting the mood

And there you have it, babymaking 101.