Upon opening my current birth control method, I actually read the directions on the package:
Per vagina, eh? I have multiple vaginas then? Like ears? Can I alternate between the two? What’s the other one like? It must be mint since I didn’t even know I had it and thus, have never used it.
Also, the suggestion that I store it in a cool, dry place seems to be a bit antithetical to the intended usage. If it’s cool and dry, then we need to talk.
I am also glad that they suggest that I ONLY use it in my vagina since I WAS considering putting some sugar crystals on it and calling it a ThingPop™.
I claim rights to the phrase that I just coined:
“Got a little donk in the tronk?”
Amazon apparently sells a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank for the very reasonable price of $19,995. Read the rest of this entry »
Apparently Amazon does, for $3.99 plus shipping. More than sales, Amazon has generated quite a following for our whole milk fat friend. You can read some comments here (scroll down newbies).
Some of my favorites:
There are few gifts I like to recieve more than milk. Whole milk too. That’s the kind of milk that says that it’s real. It’s right. It’s whole.
Four teats UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…And Saint Gristedes raised his glass up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy empty glass that with it Thou mayest nourish Thine self with Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin and the angles did sing. The Lord spake, saying, “Gristedes, thou shalt receive Thy nectar of Thy grace. The blessed Tuscan Whole Milk!”
Don’t forget to check out the customer images of some udders and a Jedi Master.
I am involved with a literacy group in my hometown - pretty heavily involved, actually. We’re looking for ways to raise money to pay for books and training, as well as a host of other things. Below is the text from an email I got about a way that people can help us generate support for a grant we applied for. It’s really simple and I appreciate everyone’s help.
The details:
We have just applied for a $4,075 grant through General Mills, specifically Hamburger Helper. The program is called “myhometownhelper.com”. The amount requested would cover the cost of the next Tutor Training session in the late summer, early fall and materials for the new students we would be able to teach with those tutors.
Here’s the simple way you can help. Click on the link below:
http://www.myhometownhelper.com/ViewProject.aspx?tell=2&id=21142
Read through our proposal and then scroll to the bottom of the screen and add a comment in support. That’s it, about 5 minutes of your time and not a dime of your money!
Thanks so much for helping us.
So, myself and my friend Brenda here were discussing my recent assertion when asked by my mechanic friend if I want to have children some day. I responded “Sure, but chances are I’ll end up doing it myself”.
Scientifically speaking, it’s pretty slim pickins, as far as men go, on the East coast.
Brenda and I started thinking about the pros and cons of the situation and ended up on the pro side. We’d work together on the logistics of raising the kids, like carpooling, babysitting, etc. The biggest pro for Brenda - no undermining of her authority. The biggest pro for me - the same as Brenda, as well as, no wasted time trying to find “The One”.
After some discussions about the scientific principles of babymaking, we came to the conclusion that we would need the following items:
- some carefully selected “samples” of Y chromosomes
- a Martini shaker
- a turkey baster
- a glass of some expensive wine
- some Barry White tunes
- a candle or two for setting the mood
And there you have it, babymaking 101.
Well, if you’re ever in need of a quick “Lefty” (some might read “someone who doesn’t blindly follow a woefully negligent moron”) gift, here’s the one for you:
Backwards Bush - the Official Bush Countdown Clock
Now, you COULD just send your friend a link to this primary color laiden site or you could go one step further and show you really care - buy them the matching keychain. Now, wherever they go, they’ll know exactly how much longer they’ll have to keep ‘nuke-ular’ within their vocabulary.
Same-sex couples who want to exchange vows in front of Cinderella’s Castle now have the chance.
The Walt Disney Co. had limited its Fairy Tale Wedding program to couples with valid marriage licenses, but it is now making ceremonies at its parks available to gay couples as well.
“We believe this change is consistent with Disney’s long-standing policy of welcoming every guest in an inclusive environment,” Disney Parks and Resorts spokesman Donn Walker said Friday. “We want everyone who comes to celebrate a special occasion at Disney to feel welcome and respected.”
Good job Disney. Here’s the rest of the article.
I’m quite happy to know that the most magical place on Earth is now also the most fabulusssss
Yeah, so, I like Green Day. I have since they first came out and I was a whee middle-schooler rockin’ out against the man with songs that had the word “masturbation” in them because, ooo, that was so bad. And yeah, I like “Holiday” because it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it. But no, it’s not a personal anthem. If I were going to protest something, I’d do more than just listen to a song or buy a CD or join a mailing list. If I have something to say, I’ll say it myself. Can’t say that goes for the majority of my generation, but we can only hope.
