I came to this conclusion today when I did my laundry and achieved something not fit for mere mortals. I was able to match all of my various single and dejected socks with their proper mates.

It seems to me that there is some necessary amount of unknown needed in the Universe to make it function properly, to give us a reason to exist, to keep exploring.. As science advances and seems to answer many of the great questions of the Universe and our existence, I have deduced that the number of mismatched socks has most likely increased accordingly, to balance out this need for “unknown” in the face of so many answers. With questions like, “Where did that sock go between the hamper and the wash?” and “Do I even own a pair of these socks?”, there is endless wonder brought by this simple fashion accessory. With endless wonder comes endless “unknown”.

Today is a good example of how one person can, unknowingly, put that all in jeopardy. Little did I know what I was embarking on when I dumped that basket of laundry on my bed. Some might say that I should not blame myself for knocking all of us off kilter a little bit today, but truly, this could have been prevented. See, when I do not find a match to a sock in my current load of laundry, I just blindly save it until later in hopes that its mate will eventually show up.

What was I thinking? The best thing to do considering the implications of this, is to just smply discard any and all unmatched socks whether their mate lie in the next load or three loads hence. That seems reasonable. I am willing to take on the burden of frequent sock shopping if that means the Universe will stay on track. It’s a bit of a nuisance, and perhaps a crime, to promote the splitting of very happy sock pairs, but I am willing to do my part to keep all of existence in check. Lord knows with all of the advancements today in science, mass media, surveillance technologies, and society’s morbid curiosity about just about anyone or anything, we’re going to need a LOT more lost socks.