On first reading the title of this article “Student boycott at women’s college suspended” I was quite certain that Smith College, my alma mater, had finally eliminated tofu from its kitchens. In reality, it was actually something important and not at all related to Smith.

I can say with certainty that I think it is very important to keep the women’s college experience alive. In my college career I went to three different colleges, all of which were one extreme or another in the gender breakdown. Frankly, I am quite happy to have taken a majority of my classes without boys (no, no–you are not men a 18). I can honestly say that the classes were more fulfilling without these penis toting individuals (PTIs) in them. ** ‘Penis toting individuals ‘ is a term of mine from circa 1999 or so. It was funny then and it still makes me laugh now.

Why you ask? Well, I’ll make a rough estimation here and say that about 75% of ALL comments made by PTIs in the classes I took were rooted entirely in a desire to hear themselves speak. That’s fine and all, but not on my time. I am back in a class now, mostly male, and it is the exact same thing. Any time they raise their hand it is usually to share some car’s engine specification (which is always posed in the form of a question to somehow make it a legitimate response to a lull in the lecture).

Of course, there are many vacuous and, sadly, chatty girls out there but you really didn’t see those at Smith. And I don’t think you’d really see them at any other women’s college either. Their needs for rampant hair brushing and frequent sex (with men) would not be met at an all women’s college. Here we can be grateful for the high concentration of dykes at these schools. They’re keeping it real even if they’re keeping it with each other.

So, I say sue. You got a penis? You go somewhere else. I don’t need you sucking up my academic air and spitting back sports scores.

And that’s how I see it.