The word is ballcussion. A ballcussion occurs when the testicular region, specifically the testes, receives trauma so severe that the possessor of said testes needs to sit out at least one inning of a sport–if not more.
Personally, I’ve never had a cuntcussion–I mean concussion and that’s a good thing, either way you spell it.
I have mentioned a need for a good, LITTLE digital camera to snap the many happenings and oddities that I see each day. Alas, JBot is so very, very poor. Gas, rent, loans, clothing shopping binges….
Anyway, I have been carrying around a disposable camera that I bought TWO YEARS ago for my innaugural Bike NY Five Boro Bike tour and it has gotten some more use as of late. Perhaps, this is not a fleeting convenience. Maybe it is, in fact, a strategy.
Here’s a nice little article on the state of the disposable camera.
I have, in the past, had the opportunity to explain, to some, the insanity that is my work environment. I have turned over somewhat of a new leaf, though, and thus have chosen to blog about it and bite my tongue more when I am actually at work.
One of my biggest pet peeves is jargon. Jargon makes me angry because jargon is crap. Jargon is exclusionary but in a way where you wouldn’t even want to be part of the group anyway. It spends alot of time saying basically nothing. Why not just be silent? Why not just admit that, in the end, you’ve simply got nothing? Your product is either a sham or you don’t have the intelliegence to convey what it is.
Anyway, my job is swimming in jargon. Here are some classic examples…
Who we are:
“an Internet-based teaching and skill-building resource”
We offer:
“measurably better learning outcomes”
Our current tagling:
“On the leading edge of language arts literacy.”
And today the following might possibly be added:
“Bringing the promise and power of the internet to language arts instruction.”
So, in one sentence, what do we do now?
I need to find a way to purchase a good, small digital camera (the one that doesn’t blur apparently) so that I can take a snapshot of all the random happenings of which I inanely speak of each day.
Anyway, I saw a great bumper sticker today. You’ll have to imagine some trees with the following text:
“More Trees, Less Bush”
Oh, it gave me a good chuckle.
Not that I like spending close to $200 or more per month on gas, but I am glad it has sparked some serious rethinking…
Hmmm…. after my last post about the World Cup I started thinking… there seems to be a trend in my sports team choices. Upon realizing this, I’ll admit, I felt a little pathetic. I felt a little transparent. How did JBot pick the Red Sox and Patriots for her teams of choice? How did JBot learn not to abhor ESPN Outdoors or the practice of fishing? How did JBot come so easily to enjoy soccer? The list goes on and on.
As you might guess, all of these things are things have been important to people I have dated. Had I not met them, would I ever have made these choices? Probably not. Would I even watch sports? Probably not.
So what does this mean?
Maybe I am easily convinced, swayed, converted… Does that make me a sheep or open-minded? In each of these instances someone else gave me a deeper appreciation of a sport or a team. But in reality, I wouldn’t have taken the time without someone sitting me down and saying “JBot, look at this.” I think we all have those things.
As a woman, I think I am put at a disadvantage as far as sports choices go because I am expected to just follow along with someone else. The simple fact is, though, sports are not a high priority in my life, regardless of whether I possess toots or an oodelay. They are not something that I, myself, make time for. Do I enjoy them? Yes.
I realize, though, that I can choose to let someone else bring that joy into my life. There’s a big world out there. If I need to rely on others to remind me that sports exist, so be it. I am sure I remind others that something out there exists. What is it? Hmmm… probably profanity.
..and only four years in the making! I am a recent convert, but after going to an actual match and seeing 45 minute halfs of elegance, I am convinced that soccer should be taken alot more seriously in this country. It’s the way sports should be. No commercials. International commraderie AND rivalry. Elegant play with a little ball sack smashing now and again.
Will I ever call it ‘Football’? Never. Football is football and that is that. It has a ball called a football not a soccer ball. Tom Brady is a football player. Landon Donovan is a soccer player. But anyway, minor details that will merely have me tarred and feathered.
Today starts the World Cup. Let’s all take the day off! I think it should be a national holiday–don’t you?
I was, and still am, watching today’s WootOff and there was a paper shredder with the following story attached:
http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/creditcard/application.shtml
Sora agreed that I should post this email that I had sent him earlier today:
“I am almost positive that people were laughing at me after I flushed the toilet for like the FOURTH time. We won’t discuss why but there could be “other” reasons besides the obvious possible clogging…. The laughing is probably because I flush multiple times everyday. Why do I do it everyday? Well, there’s the courtesy flush which is really for the benefit of everyone in some cases. Today, well, today was a technical issue. Either way, why do we have people sitting outside the bathroom anyway? And why don’t we have a proper plunger? And why do I care? The last, because I simply just can’t help it. Anyway, I’m not changing my flushing habits dammit. If they don’t appreciate all I do for them, well, fine. I can keep myself warm with self satisfaction–like I do anyway. The bottom line is that I am not thrilled with people being able to deduce what I am doing in there, but I guess I have to get over that. Lord knows I would be all over that with the “Damn, she must have today.” comments. And well, maybe I am not the center of the universe… No, no, that’s not it. “
So, I redesigned my company’s web site. I won’t even give you the URL because it has since been “tinkered” with by our president who just can’t help himself. So, what has since transpired is that a perfectly good web site has been turned to shit. At first, I was a bit offended, then infuriated, then disheartened, and now, well, something new…
Here is an excerpt of an email sent to Sora:
“So…. this is what I love about today. [President] just asked me for some basic photoshop lessons. He’s just going to “swizzle” something up for the logo because he can. Of course, swizzle. Yes, he is a graphic designer. Of course. He owns photoshop. At this point, I am very nearly encouraging him with some form of morbid glee. Go ahead, tinker. I want to see exactly how much shit you can pile onto my design and still not hear words of protest. I want to see how everybody here will still try to subtly steer you in some other direction, but no, you’ll keep forging ahead to 1997. I laugh at the people trying to stop it too–the futility they cannot admit. It’s an almost psychotic glee. It’s very freeing. It’s like a few years ago when we had all those hurricanes in a row hitting Florida. A small part of me wanted one more, just to see if it could happen, just because they said it couldn’t. Bam, here it comes…”
