JBot Mania

So we’ve determined that I like food that contains words ending in ‘ose’, beginning with ‘trans’, and possibly containing many hyphens. It has also become clear that a lack of these makes me a little less tolerant of life’s misfortunes. But, despite a small breakdown in my mother’s driveway over my car that has been less than perfect and involving the words ‘I just want some pie’, I have come to the conclusion that I can do this - probably with a little less whining, although an Ode to Rice cakes really shouldn’t be passed up for being too negative.

Day 4 brought the following cravings - warm sugar cookies, McDonald’s cheeseburgers, and beer battered onion rings from that place across the river. If I were pregnant I am guessing the cravings would be the same only everything would be dipped in perhaps, mayonnaise. Having mentioned these cravings, I could now enter them as cravings for Day 5, as well.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of eating puffed brown rice cereal for breakfast with rice milk and cut up bananas in it. The bananas not only solidify the possibility that I am, in fact, eating something, as the puffed rice leaves that in doubt, but also reminds me of many a morning in Albany with grandma who would sometimes make me a bowl of something much more appetizing like corn flakes (yes, something more appetizing) and slice a banana over it. For lunch there was a cob salad from the diner which, for the most part, fell within the realms of my diet, minus a few slivers of cheese that were clinging to the lettuce. I, of course, made every effort to eliminate it… Dnner was pretty good with a bunch of strawberries, blueberries, salmon, and green beans - although not together or in that order. This was all thanks to my mom who could see that not only was I tired of this diet but that my boyfriend was also most likely starving after being fed some of my crazy food for the past few nights. She fed us both - well.

Day 5 will be a new day with more exciting cravings and perhaps a slightly smaller feeling of hopelessness despite waking up each day and thinking “I could get up early and go to Dunkin Donuts on the way to work” but realizing that until they make rice based donuts with brown rice extract frosting, it’s no more donuts for me. Then again, if they came up with rice based donuts with brown rice extract frosting, it would most likely be a sign of the apocalypse and perhaps my fettish for donuts would then not be quite as important.